forgottentales | Entries tagged with karkat vantas

Sender: Edmond Dantes (Count of Monte Cristo) | Luca Balsa

Recipient: Everyone

~~Good afternoon everyon~~
~~To my fellow aspe~~
~~help~~

[ How does he say this? There's a lot of emotion rattling around in his head and he feels like his body's about to implode. Should he even be writing anything here?

… Might as well just do it. Who knows how much time he has left. ]

To whom this may concern,

As some of you might know, my memory is nothing like it once was. While this journal has been useful for keeping records of the present and other important notes, I don't remember too much of my past outside of a series of unfortunate events I will not disclose to the public for personal reasons. I do know I wanted to invent something wonderful to benefit my world and make something of myself, but the accident that caused my memory to fail also made that dream impossible in my world.

Here, I have a second chance. As strange and perilous as this world can be, I'm grateful that the Storyteller reached out to ask me for help. Hopefully, I can eventually remember enough to finish my invention in the Index or make something new out of what I can recall of it, but even if that never happens I'm still able to contribute something beneficial by helping to restore the stories.

Which brings me to the situation at hand. I'm not sure what exactly caused it, but the current state of the story and how it’s affected people has me fearing for my life. Since I don't know if I even have any family or friends back home, I may as well write an open letter to you all. Thank you for giving me a chance to redeem myself, and I hope my contributions thus far were helpful in the long run.

Signed, Luca Balsa

rustyhonesty

Sender: The Beast | Jean Kirstein
Recipient: Everyone

What the hell is this "christmas" thing even about?

rokubro

Sender: The Huntsman (Red Riding Hood) | Rokurou Rangetsu
Recipient: Errybody

Looks like you guys had some fun while I was gone, but even after hunting down a few daemons back in my world, nothing beats the enemies that pop around this place.

Which brings me to the main point of this: anyone interested in taking down that two-headed troll?

[Insert dumb, very ugly scribble of said troll.]

Tried to take it down on my own, but that thing is a lot tougher than it looks. Even I have to admit that I'm not strong enough as I am right now. [Combination of troll being a big high level boss and the fact that he has to work with his Aspect skills and unable to utilize all of his usual artes.] Not sure if anyone could take it down on their own, but I'd sure as hell like to watch and fight whoever does.

I'll be taking another go at it to figure out more of its weaknesses, but I won't deny anyone who wants to take a crack it themselves with me. I'm less interested in the money, so we can figure out how to split the rewards later.

I'll also be working on the other hunts, so if anyone needs help with those, I'll gladly lend my sword.

cancercarcino

Sender: Sun Wukong (Journey to the West) | Karkat Vantas

Recipient: Everyone

IT'S RECENTLY COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT AN EMBARRASSINGLY HIGH NUMBER OF PEOPLE TRAPPED IN THIS SAD EXCUSE OF A WIGGLER TALE SEEM TO BE STRUGGLING WITH A VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT OF CIVILIZED LIVING.
WHETHER IT BE LAYING PROSTRATE ACROSS THESE PAGES WITH DESPERATE WORDS PLEADING FOR GUIDANCE OR BECAUSE A SCENE DICTATES IT TO BE SO IN ORDER TO FIX WHATEVER STORY WE'RE STUCK FIXING, THE LACK OF BASIC KNOWLEDGE ON THIS AREA IS HONESTLY PRETTY ASTOUNDING, GIVEN THAT THE ENTIRE REASON FOR OUR BEING HERE IS TO FIX *STORIES*.
YOU KNOW, THE THINGS YOU READ AND HAVE PREDICTABLE PLOT LINES AND END IN EITHER DEATH, MUTILATION, OR POSSIBLY THE FULFILLMENT OF ONE'S HOPES AND DREAMS IN ORDER TO FULFILL A READER'S OWN LACK OF FULFILLMENT IN THEIR OWN SAD EXISTENCE?
I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUT ROMANCE.
ROMANCE IS *FUNDAMENTAL* TO THESE KINDS OF STORIES, AND YET SO MANY OF YOU IDIOTS CAN'T SEEM TO GRASP THE BASIC CONCEPT OF ASKING SOMEONE OUT ON A DATE OR EVEN SORTING OUT YOUR OWN FEELINGS ON THE MATTER.
IT'S PRETTY FUCKING EMBARRASSING AND IT MAKES ME WONDER HOW THE FUCK YOUR SPECIES HAS EVEN EVOLVED PAST THE PRIMORDIAL SLIME STAGE TO MAKE IT THIS FAR.
BUT FEAR NOT, YOU SORRY, UNCULTURED HERD OF BEEFGRUBS!
BECAUSE DESPITE YOUR LACK OF UNDERSTANDING, I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT I HAPPEN TO BE A GODDAMN *EXPERT* ON ROMANCE.
I'VE READ SO MANY TEXTS AND STUDIED SO MANY FILMS ON ROMANCE THAT I COULD DESCRIBE TO YOU THE SUBTLE NUANCES ONE MIGHT EXPERIENCE AND HOW THEY HELP TO ENRICH ANY ASPECT OF ONE'S ROMANTIC PURSUITS, FROM QUADRANT VACILLATION TO THE BALANCE BETWEEN HATRED AND KISMESISSITUDE.
"BUT WAIT," I HEAR YOU PRACTICALLY WHINING THROUGH THE PAGES OF YOUR JOURNAL, "HOW COME I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THESE WORDS BEFORE??"
WELL THAT IS BECAUSE I'M TEACHING YOU ALL TROLL ROMANCE.
AND WHY AM I TEACHING YOU ALL ABOUT TROLL ROMANCE?
BECAUSE HUMAN ROMANCE IS DUMB AND SEVERELY LACKING IN ANY SORT OF SUBSTANCE OR COMPLEXITY.
IT'LL BE A CRASH COURSE IN CULTURAL EXCHANGE, SURE, BUT GIVEN HOW INADEQUATE HUMANS ARE WHEN IT COMES TO UNDERSTANDING THE COMPLEX ROMANTIC ENDEAVOURS AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TELL A MOIRAIL FROM AN AUSPISTICE EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING THE PROPER TERMS FOR IT, THIS IS THE KIND OF ROMANCE I'M GOING TO TEACH.
AND HONESTLY, IF EVERY SINGLE STORY WE ENCOUNTER DEALS WITH ROMANCE OF SOME KIND, THIS INFORMATION IS GONNA BE VITAL FOR FIXING THEM SOONER AND GETTING THE FUCK BACK HOME FASTER!
SO I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT SCHOOLFEEDING OF YOUR LIVES, ALL FREE OF CHARGE!
OF COURSE, ANY PRAISE YOU WISH TO HURL MY WAY IS ACCEPTABLE AND EVEN ENCOURAGED.
I'M PRACTICALLY WAITING ON YOU PRONG AND FUCKING NUB OVER HERE, A LITTLE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT WOULD BE NICE.
OKAY, ENOUGH PREFACE, ON TO THE ACTUAL LESSON!

[And then Karkat draws the following image:]

YOU SEE THIS?
COPY IT DOWN. MEMORIZE IT. LIVE AND BREATHE IT.
BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BASIS OF ALL I'M ABOUT TO TEACH YOU ALL.
SERIOUSLY, FIND A GODDAMN PEN AND START TAKING NOTES.

[And unless anyone stops to ask questions, Karkat is going to go into a long-winded, swear-ridden description of troll romance for all to see.]

gobetween

Sender: Hermes (Greek mythology) | Gobo Fraggle

Recipient: Everyone but Wembley Fraggle

Hey, everyone. I've got a pretty simple question- well actually I don't know if it's really all that simple but-

I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, I don't know all that much about being in a relationship. I didn't even have a word for it until I was talking to someone else and it came up. Sure, I know about hanging out together and doing special things with each other, and different things like that.

But what can you do to become closer? Me and Wembley, we're really close already, but I wouldn't call that "relationship close." And Fraggles, we have romance and stuff but nothing really special, not like I've seen with the Gorgs- oh uh, other people from my home world -or others here in the Index, like special customs. So I'm basically just asking for ideas of something Wembley and I can do together, or that I can do for Wembley, that would make our relationship really something.

Just don't mention it to Wembley if you know him, eh? I wanna surprise him.

rustyhonesty

Sender: Beast (Beauty and the Beast) | Jean Kirstein
Recipient: Everyone

When I first arrived here, I had horns on my head. A few days after I grew some kind of ears and a fluffy tail. I assumed they'd disappear after a while like my "full transformation" but they didn't. I guess they're a permanent change. Has anyone had something like this happen to them? According to the story I'm from I should look like a beast full time but instead I change into one with a trigger. I guess it's convenient if I need some extra strength.

natation

Sender: Athon-Rajah (The Fish Prince) | Percy (Perseus) Jackson

Recipient: Everyone

I know this place is....different. I get that. And I know some of you have been here longer. Way longer than me. But....that doesn't make this any easier? Missing things like Christmas or New Years. Back home I'd celebrate with mum. With my new step-dad. With my girlfriend and the others. I might even miss my sister being born, being here. Or, however this works. I don't know. But...how do the rest of you deal with it? I guess it's kinda more of a sore spot for me since back home Hera erased my memory and sent me off to the other Camp and all, so I've dealt with everyone freaking out over me and me missing things for months.

Spoilers. It sucks. Would not recommend. At all.

Just. This time of year is the hardest I guess. Being without them.

[He'll probably regret admitting this stuff in the morning, but. Well. Percy can't really hide this. His emotions have always been obvious. And as quick to shift from being calm to raging and furious at the drop of a hat. Probably part and parcel of being related to Poseidon and all.]

deadmentellnotails

Sender: Davy Jones | Eizen

Recipient: Everyone. Unfortunately.

[Rest in pieces, Index, because Eizen has been drinking with Rokurou. His handwriting is messy but legible and oh boy are the drawings included on this post surprisingly good for a drunken scribble.]

So Rokurou told me that there are kids here. Kids who may not know certain things. I may be a pirate but I’m also a big brother and a scholar and I know how you humans are.

You fuck like rabbits. And you’re bad at it. [In Rokurou’s handwriting:] speak for yourself I know the library here doesn’t have anything on romance or sex I’ve looked so that means you unfortunately have to deal with me. I’ve been drinking a lot.

[Little drawings in Rokurou’s hand of beer mugs. Eizen just wants to let everyone know why this is happening. Enough awareness to do that but not enough to stop this trainwreck.]

I can’t speak for how it works between two women but--

[What follows is a very drunken ramble covering the basics that Eizen can cover. With rough sketches to illustrate. Your journals may protest and censor things.

And commentary from Rokurou, though at one point there is a color war as Rokurou tries to make comments when Eizen starts talking about less tame things that end with Eizen writing "I am a thousand years old I think I know more shut up you drunk". Rokurou’s comment is just "haha old". And also a dick.

And he does attempt to offer ideas for how it works between two women but it’s not like Eizen would ever have a chance to find out how. Again, he crosses out anything Rokurou tries to say here because not happening.]

Any questions? Don’t ask Rokurou though. [And another scribble war on the journals. They are sitting right next to each other.]

[In the morning you will find a message at the top of the start of the previous entry from Eizen. In big, bold letters:]

FORGET YOU EVER READ THIS

IF YOU SEE ROKUROU KILL HIM

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