(no subject)

[rustyhonesty]

Sender: The Beast | Jean Kirstein
Recipient: Everyone

What the hell is this "christmas" thing even about?

Comments

[rustyhonesty]

Not all of us come from the same place even if we're human. My "world" doesn't have holidays at all.

So sorry about the delays, RL has been kicking my ass

[cancercarcino]

NO HOLIDAYS?
LIKE NONE WHATSOEVER?
WOW, AND I THOUGHT MY PLANET WAS A MISERABLE PLACE.
WELL, I CAN'T TELL YOU ABOUT HUMAN HOLIDAYS, BUT I KNOW ALL ABOUT TWELFTH PERIGEE'S EVE. WHICH I GUESS IS CLOSE ENOUGH TO THIS HUMAN CHRISTMAS AS FAR AS I KNOW.
SO I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THAT AND MAYBE THAT WILL GIVE YOU AN IDEA AS TO WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

no problem at all

[rustyhonesty]

None at all. We don't have time for celebrating.

Sure, tell me about that then.

/o/

[cancercarcino]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU LIVED AN ABSOLUTELY RIVETING LIFE BEFORE COMING HERE, AND I DON'T EVEN NEED TO USE THE ENCLOSURE TALONS TO EMPHASIZE HOW SARCASTIC I'M BEING.

BUT, WHATEVER, ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU SOME BASIC SCHOOLFEEDING ON THE TOPIC OF TWELFTH PERIGEE'S EVE.
ALRIGHT, SO WITHOUT BOGGING YOU DOWN WITH A NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX NARRATIVE DESCRIBING THE HISTORY AND CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE OF THE HOLIDAY, TWELFTH PERIGEE'S EVE IS A HOLIDAY ON ALTERNIA. IT TAKES PLACE ON THE NIGHT BEFORE THE TWELFTH PERIGEE OF EVERY SOLAR SWEEP.
TRADITIONALLY, A TROLL'S LUSUS GOES OUT ON THIS NIGHT, OR BEFORE IT IF THEY'RE FEELING PARTICULARLY EAGER, AND GOES TO FIND A BEHEMOTH LEAVING TO BRING BACK TO THE HIVE AND DECORATE.
I KNOW SOME TROLLS WHO WOULD DECORATE THEIR HIVE AS WELL, BUT FOR ME AND MY LUSUS IT KIND OF DEPENDED ON THE SWEEP WHETHER OR NOT WE DECORATED THE HIVE OR JUST SAID FUCK IT AND JUST WENT OFF ON OUR USUAL NIGHTLY BUSINESS.
YOU CAN ALSO DO SOME BONDING ACTIVITIES WITH YOUR LUSUS AROUND THIS HOLIDAY, BUT USUALLY FOR US A REGULAR STRIFE BEFORE I SHOVED SOME CHILLED ROE CUBES INTO HIS PROTEIN CHUTE WAS ENOUGH OF A BONDING ACTIVITY WITHOUT ADDING FESTIVE HOLIDAY CHEER INTO THE MIX.
YOU CAN ALSO GIVE ANONYMOUS GIFTS TO PEOPLE IN AN ATTEMPT TO CAUSE SOME INDISCRIMINATE, ANONYMOUS SUFFERING TO THOSE YOU REALLY DON'T LIKE, BUT EVERYONE WHO I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO SEND GIFTS TO WAS TOO FAR AWAY TO EVEN BOTHER WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[rustyhonesty]

Wow, your culture sounds a lot different from mine just based on what you just said. Really different terms, too.

I'm used to gifts being a good thing. Something pleasant to give someone you like. That sounds like a fun alternative.

I know quite a few who I'd send a gift to.

[cancercarcino]

WHAT AN ASTUTE OBSERVATION!
OF COURSE IT WOULD SOUND DIFFERENT, TROLLS ARE DIFFERENT FROM HUMANS.
GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK FOR BEING THE SHINIEST SLIME PUDDLE IN THE SLURRY!
AND DIDN'T WE ALREADY AGREE THAT TWELFTH PERIGEE'S EVE IS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR HUMAN CHRISTMAS?
I MEAN SURE, YOU COULD PROBABLY GIVE A GIFT OUT OF PITY TO YOUR MATESPRIT RATHER THAN OUT OF HATRED OR A DESIRE TO ANNOY THEM, UNLESS YOURS IS THE KIND OF MATESPRITSHIP TO VASCILLATE, BUT
UGH, I DUNNO.
THINGS ARE SO WEIRD AND DIFFERENT HERE FROM ALTERNIA THAT IT'S HARD TO KEEP UP WITH CERTAIN THOUGHTS, YOU KNOW?

[rustyhonesty]

Sorry. I'm a bit distracted, I guess, so I make obvious statements.
There's a lot of new information for me, too.

How long have you been here?

[cancercarcino]

IF YOU JUST MEAN HERE, THEN HALF A SWEEP.
IF YOU COUNT THE TIME I'VE ALSO BEEN AWAY FROM ALTERNIA SINCE IT GOT DESTROYED AND HAD TO GO THROUGH A STUPID HELLSCAPE OF A GAME, THEN ADD 600 HOURS ON TOP OF THAT.

[rustyhonesty]

A sweep? Is that a term for a year or something?

I'm sorry to hear what happened to your home.

[cancercarcino]

I DUNNO HOW LONG ONE OF YOUR WEIRD EARTH YEARS IS!
UGH. OK, JUST. GIVE ME A MINUTE.

[There's a brief aside where Karkat scribbles some hasty notes into the margin of his journal. Comments of "JOHN - 13 YEARS", "SAME AGE??", "6 = 13???" and "THIS IS STUPID" fill up the margin and are unintentionally sent to Jean, along with a few idle pen marks that is clearly Karkat tapping his pen against the page.]

OK YEAH.
BASED ON WHAT I KNOW, I GUESS ONE SWEEP IS ROUGHLY EQUAL TO TWO OF YOUR EARTH HUMAN YEARS.
DON'T ASK ME WHY DIFFERENT PLANETS JUST DECIDE TO SAY FUCK IT AND DECIDE THEIR OWN ORBIT SPEEDS, I'M NOT THE INTERPLANETARY GALACTIC EXPERT HERE.

AND IT'S FINE.
HONESTLY, IT FEELS LIKE IT ALL HAPPENED A LONG TIME AGO.
BUT HEY, IT'S BETTER HERE THAN ON SOME FUCKING METEOR IN NULL SPACE.

[rustyhonesty]

I don't expect you to be, I was just curious if you knew.

That I can agree with in regards of my own world.
Much better here.

[cancercarcino]

YOU'RE FUCKING TELLING ME.
HERE'S TO LEAVING ONE FESTERING SHIT PILE FOR ANOTHER, SIGNIFICANTLY LESS FESTERING SHITPILE?

[rustyhonesty]

Yeah.
Cheers.